Review: Kick-Ass

If you know me, you know of my passionate love for comic books, and things comic-related. So with this trend of turning comic books into movies gaining more and more momentum, I've been having to go and see more and more movies. I'm not complaining.

Kick-Ass is one of the latest comic book movies to hit theaters, and it does not disappoint. The trailers leading up to it all made it out to be this kid living out a pipe dream of becoming a real-life super hero, and then he and other costumed vigilantes fighting bad guys. The movie itself is pretty much that, but a lot, a lot more violent. And by violent, I mean awesome.

There are a couple of good fight scenes, and they were all pretty graphic. Being a big fan of graphic violence, I was enthralled by these scenes. Watching these people do fancy acrobatic combat combined with guns, knives and batons was really enjoyable.

The movie's story was really good, and bar a kind of deus ex machina ending, I thought it was all within the realm of realism. The characters were surprisingly well written, with comical quirks and lines for everyone. You feel for these people. The nerdy protagonist is one of those characters you almost can't help but like.

If you like comic book movies, awesome fight scenes, and Nicolas Cage being a bad ass, you're gonna like this movie a lot. I certainly did. Giving this movie 8.5/10.

So I felt like Blogging. Uh oh.

Oh man. It's been one of those weeks. Classes. Tests. People. You're just all set with this week in general. The only thing keeping you going is that you know that after you finish up school/classes/work for the weekend on Friday afternoon, you're free. Well sort of.

Ah... the weekend. Ever since kids have been going to school, and even after we've moved on to work we've thought that three day weekends should become the standard instead of this B.S. five day hell that we've been subjected to since Preschool. We're all about equality man! 5:2 is a crap ratio. Even the Bookies in Vegas don't like those odds. With a four day work week, and a three day weekend, the world would become a better place. Follow me on this:

No More "Mondays" - Well, yeah, we're not going to entirely buck the system, and rename all the days of the week. That would be silly. What I'm talking about is no more of this, "Ugh it's Monday I feel like killing myself just so I don't have to go to school/classes/work today," feeling. Studies show conclusive proof* that a big part of this feeling comes from people not getting enough rest out of the weekend. With only two days of rest and relaxation, people need to "make the most" out of their weekends filling it up with two days of partying (for the youngsters) or two days of family trips (for those with youngsters) or two days of catching up on all that reclining and watching TV you missed while you were working (for everyone else). With a three day weekend, people can really settle in to their relaxing stride and mellow out, so that they can party, go on trips, and watch TV all weekend, but be ready to get back at it on the new, improved, and less sucky Monday.

3 Day Weekends Save The Economy - Think about it. If everyone is working five days out of the week to get money, they only have two days to spend it! Simple math here people! Three day weekends give everyone more time to go on vacation, go to the mall, or just waste time online! Any way you cut it, more money is being spent outside the desk/lecture hall/cubicle than in. Another prestigious study has shown conclusive evidence** that stores always have huge sales on three day weekends because they know that people are going to spend more money! These sales could then last all the time, dropping prices, putting spending up, and getting more money circulated into the struggling Economy.

More Time To Exercise - One word: Obesity. Two words: Playing outside. Studies have shown that one of the main reasons that people are getting fat is due to lack of exercise***. If we were to have three day weekends, people could still spend two days sitting by the warm LCD of your computer screen, and the third day running through meadows or skipping through fields. Or playing football or baseball. Even the nerdiest kids feel bad shut inside for three days straight without seeing the sunlight. I would know. However, with three day weekends, you can just go ahead and make yourself a little video games, playing outside, and video games sandwich every weekend. Hell, if you're feeling a little energetic you could even make an Uh-Oh Oreo out of it and go outside two days out of the weekend! The world would be your oyster!

So I think, that what we all really need to do, is just start not going to school/class/work on Friday. When your Teacher/Professor/Boss comes up to you on Monday, to reprimand you for not showing up on Friday, you can just say with a nice relaxed brain, and a tank full of energy from your glorious weekend, "Three day weekends are the way of the future." Sure, you might get detention/nothing/fired, but when this movement comes to pass, you shall be heralded as a Visionary, or a Prophet. Or just a Bad Ass who plays by his/her own rules. But if we act in unison, the Man will listen, and see the wisdom of our words. REBEL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! TOGETHER WE SHALL BRING THIS GLORIOUS REVOLUTION TO PASS! VIVE LE TROIS JOURS DE FIN DE LA SEMAINE! OR JUST YAY THREE DAY WEEKEND! THE POWER IS YOURS!

* Not really.

** Another lie.

*** True! I'm pretty sure!

Dear Everybody:

I turned 20 the other day.

Twenty. Two Zero. Two Decades old.

Seriously. How did I get this old?! People talk about things from '99 and I think to myself every time, "Oh that was what one-two years ago?" before I remind myself, "No it was 11 years ago, it's 2010. Oh yeah, and we still don't have flying cars yet."

Sometimes it really seems like it was only a few years ago when I'd get up bright and early Saturday mornings, sometimes too early, and watching cartoons on TV, sometimes causing my Dad to come out and tell me to turn it down, as it wasn't even 6:30 yet. Then later after everybody was up, and my cartoons started, my Mom'd bring me a glass of Apple juice and a Strawberry Nutri-Grain bar, and threw a blanket on me while I nibbled away, captive to my rigorous schedule of hopping from Fox Kids to watch Digimon, back to WB Kids to watch Pokemon or Yu-gi-oh before returning to Fox Kids to watch some other shows I've now forgotten.

Other times it seems like it could've been a year ago when I was hiding out in my basement, playing away at Donkey Kong 64 on my N64 or Final Fantasy IX on my PSOne, on this crappy TV where you had to turn a knob to get to the plethora of channels such as "3, 4, and 7," but trying to get as much time in, while being as quiet as I could, so maybe Mom and Dad would forget I was down there and wouldn't tell me to go to bed. Even when they knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, and would just sneak out and watch whatever Dad was watching on TV from behind the fireplace where he couldn't see me.

I remember the long hours spent at the huge honking monitor of my ancient desktop computer in the Computer Room in the wee hours after my Mom had gone to sleep, playing some fan-translated Game Boy Advance rom or looking up some strategy on how to complete this epically hard side quest in Kingdom Hearts, like it was only a couple months ago.

I've spent a lot of my life in front of one screen or another. Most of the time with my Mom telling me to turn a light on so I don't go blind, still don't wear glasses by the way, and my Dad probing my thoughts on whether I thought computer programming or video game design, more recently video game reviews, were my future. But nonetheless I wouldn't be me without all those geeky things I've done. So thanks for being enablers Mom and Dad!

Still at other times I feel as though I'm hurtling through life at 88 miles per hour, and I'm going to be out of school and in the real world sooner than I can say "1.21 gigawatts." Pre-school, Kindergarten, Elementary School, Middle Schools, High School, and now College. All in no time at all.

Time is a fickle thing. It seems like yesterday I was in PJ's on my couch, and tomorrow I'll be graduating college. But yesterday I was sitting watching the Red Sox game here at UMass, and tomorrow I'll be figuring out the best way for me to waste the 7 hours between my Comm 222 class and my Comm 297S Action Film Screening. Wasting time is something I've gotten pretty good at over the years.

I just googled "time wasted quotes" because in this future-society that we live in that's all I had to put in before one click brought me to the Bertrand Russell quote I wanted. It's no robot butler, but it'll do.

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

I've enjoyed almost every second of wasting my time on video games, novels, comic books, T.V. and movies. Both by myself, and with friends. So here's to everyone who I've ever talked nerdy to, talked geek with, shared single player with, played multi-player with, or completely nerded out with. Whether it was only for a second, or whether we can't remember when we weren't; Thanks. For everything. I mean it.

And I think that there's only one suitable way to end this post so, "Play me off Keyboard Cat!"

PAX East 2010 Part 2: The Concert

When we last left our two heroes, they were triumphantly parading towards the Main Theater of the Hynes Convention Center. If you missed out on what they were doing there, click here.

So as we worked our way up the escalator and into the theater, the energy from the crowd was exuberant. Everyone was as happy to be there, as anyone could be to be anywhere else. Chew on that one for a bit. With people talking about how excited they were, Beckett (@beckettnoyes) and I surveyed the small crowd surrounding the stage. Beckett, being a bigger man than I, truck stick-ed through the small crowd landing us some pretty clutch spots to the right of the main stage's little catwalk. We could literally reach out and touch the performers. Which I did at one point. But so did everyone else so it's cool.

As we waited the long wait for the rest of the crowd to get situated, we looked around in eagerness, breathing in our successful mission to the front of the crowd. Soon after, the lights dimmed, and our two hosts, Jerry and Mike came out on the stage to present the participants of the Omeganaut's Tournament; a reccuring event at every PAX, where attendees register to participate in a myriad of games that test their dexterity as a gamer. From old school NES games, to cult Game-Cube surprises, to the popular games of the latest generation, these select few test their mettle against their worthy opponents in an attempt to win the grand prize. This PAX, it was a trip to Germany. Pretty sweet. In this, the semi-final round, it was revealed that the two teams of four participants would be competing against each other in Rock Band, both teams playing the song "The Gambler," by Kenny Rogers. A song which might seem an inspired choice for Penny Arcade readers. Gabe's Team, played the song relatively well, and the crowd seemed to have them picked. Tycho's Team, started with a rough patch, failing their first time due to having not picked their own instruments. Even during their second go round, their Singer failed out once, but was saved by a team mate shortly after. Though it looked like Gabe's Team may have won points wise, the unimpeded determination of Tycho's Team had won our hearts. Turns out they beasted the song too. Winning the challenge they moved on to the final round which would happen the next day.

As they cleared the stage, setting up for the first real act, the Video Game Orchestra, time seemed to creep by. One minute became five minutes, became ten minutes, became thirty. The crowd became restless. There was only one solution. The masters of the convention, the Enforcers did the only thing they could. The Wave. This was no ordinary wave. Starting on the upper left balcony, it went around clockwise, before hitting the right balcony, decending into the crowd below, with one massive surge across the theater back to it's origin. Not only did this magical Wave never false-start like many waves tend to do, this wave lasted at least 10 times around. BUT LO AND BEHOLD IT DID NOT STOP THERE! With the beckoning of the massive crowd below, the Wave changed directions, counterclockwise, for what seemed to be at least another five minutes before what was arguably the greatest happening in Wave history. We split the Wave. Starting at the middle of the balcony, the Wave crested out in both directions in unison, meeting in the middle of our massive crowd below, crashing against itself only to find new life once again on the top balcony! This Wave that was created in the Main Theater by the attendees of PAX East lasted but a moment in this grand timeline we call life, but I assure you, it will never be forgotten by those present. If there is a god of The Wave, I am sure that he smiles upon us for the great tribute that was made to him that day. Smiles and waves.

After the applause of the crowd wore itself out from our massive pat on the back, we realized it was about 45 minutes since the Omeganauts left the stage. We began to get antsy, as many crowds do, beginning to fervently chant, "V.G.O! V.G.O!" But soon after our wishes were granted and the Video Game Orchestra took the stage. They played crowd favorites from games such as Chrono Trigger, Silent Hill, Castlevania, Mario, Final Fantasy, but in such a unique blend of classical instruments and rock instruments that the songs were given new life. It was awesome. I fully intend to see them live again if I ever get the chance. When they had finished their set, the crowd cheered hard for an encore, which apparently caught them off guard, forcing them to pick a song they had already played, but I assure you, it was just as good the second time around.

By this point, the crowd has been standing for about 3 hours. So everyone sat where they could, but space was kind of hard to come by, leaving Beckett and I standing in agony. About a half hour later, all of the orchestral equipment was off the stage, leaving a keyboard and a few mikes on stage.

That's when the lights dimmed and Paul and Storm, the next band, came out doing a parody of this video. Then they were joined by the Prince of PAX, Wil Wheaton. The crowd burst into laughter, then applause, then back to laughter every time the trio of "Trololo Guy"s did a new dance move, or fought amongst themselves.

Shortly after they left the stage, Paul and Storm came back onto the stage. I had never heard of them before the Concert, actually only hearing of them after they actually walked out on stage. Beginning with "Opening Song" and going from there, their set involved the audience as much as they could, to the point of their own annoyance. After getting the crowd to give a big "Awwww" after one of their more sad lyrics, and getting the crowd to give a big "ARRRRGGGHHH!!!" during a pirate themed song, "The Captain's Wife's Lament" that is all the crowd would do to everything they said. It was a hilarious set, singing one song about the man who invented Chicken Nuggets, and another about a musical set around the video game "Frogger" going as far as to bring a scared little asian girl up onto the stage for Storm to sing a ballad to during the song. They were witty and hilarious, rolling with whatever the crowd threw at them, in one case pipe cleaner underwear, and left the stage to rancorous applause.

Then following a short break, the man we had all been waiting for, JOCO himself, Jonathan Coulton came on stage. The crowd went wild. His equipment consisting of a microphone, a guitar, a laptop and some strange machine, he came out graciously thanking everyone for coming, and for waiting the 5 hours to see him. He then played "Still Alive" and "SkullCrusher Mountain" acoustically, making the crowd go insane. Then he put down his guitar, and picked up the strange device. Slinging it around his neck and over his shoulder much like a guitar strap, the trapezoidial device was covered in black circular pads of varying size. He told us that the machine was called the "Distract-o-tron" and that we should pay attention to it, and not the next song he would be playing as he didn't like the song he was about to play as much as his others. Then he launched into this awesome rendition of his song "Mr. Fancy Pants." Each button either had a beat, a drum, a snare, or vocal clips from the song loaded onto it, and he played this incredible mash-up of a song on this machine, tapping away at all these similar looking buttons, making this unbelievable rhythm that could barely be followed. Then he hit one button and all the other beats and clips stopped, while a clip from "Single Ladies" came on. The crowd roared with laughter and burst into applause, but in no time he was back into "Mr. Fancy Pants." He finished the song to the loudest applause all night. After putting the "Distract-o-tron" down behind him, he walked back up to the microphone only to have one of the samples go off behind him. Looking behind him, he stepped closer; another sample. Then he made a little song of walking and jumping by the machine, seeing what played, until "Single Ladies" came back on, and that was enough of that.

Shortly after Paul and Storm joined him on stage, singing back up and playing a tambourine, then Metroid Metal, another band who had played Friday, came up behind him with electric guitar and bass, while their third man hopped onto the drum set behind them. They played a few more songs, making the crowd go insane with every next piece with crowd favorites such as "Re Your Brains" and "Future Soon". After explaining that after the next song they would be "done" and "leaving" the stage, they finished playing their "last song" and exited the stage. After about 45 seconds, they came back on much to our "surprise." They played one last jam and told us that even though yes, we could probably overpower the security guards and all stay night, it was time to leave, it being almost 2 AM by this point.

After the applause died down, the shuffle to the exit began. And after another brief wait outside, Beckett and I both got our PAX Badges signed by Paul and Storm, which was the cherry on the top of the gigantic chocolate ice cream sundae that was PAX East. PAX was phenominal. I could rant and rave about how great of a time it was, or how great of a community it is, but at the same time I realize, PAX isn't for everyone. If you don't have an extensive knowledge of nerd-culture, like "Rolling for Initiative" and "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" for basics, you might not like PAX. But that's okay! PAX does not discriminate. All are welcome. All Our PAX Are Belong To Everyone. Even with my leet nerd skills, I was put to shame by a vast quantity of PAX goers when it came to knowledge and obsession with all things geeky and nerdy.

If you're open to new things, and a casual to moderate video gamer, a one day pass, just to see what PAX is like might be for you. I was in a similar situation this year. But next year, I intend on skipping my Friday classes, and getting back to UMASS late Sunday night. Three days of glorious PAX East await me next year, and I fully intend to enjoy every second of it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, because I could rattle on about a dozen other stories that were not included in my two posts, even though I think these might be two of my longest posts ever.

Thanks again Jerry and Mike, for being awesome, and making something like PAX for everyone to enjoy.

PAX East 2010 Part 1: The Convention

PAX East. One word to describe it: Epic. Another: Awesome.

A Brief overview. Penny Arcade Expo is a gathering of the many fans of the webcomic Penny Arcade. Created by Jerry Holkins a.k.a. Tycho, and Mike Krahulik a.k.a. Gabe, the writing and drawing half of Penny Arcade respectively, the comic has grown to have one of the largest, if not the largest internet community in the world. The original, PAX Prime, takes place in Seattle, and the first PAX East happened for the first time this previous weekend in Boston. This show in Boston had 60,000 people in attendance, and broke the previous record of 58,000 of the latest PAX Prime (or so I heard from some random guy.) The inaugural PAX East sold out of passes before the show even began, and next year they will be moving to a larger convention center as to be able to hold more people.

Glossing the boring details, Beckett (@beckettnoyes) and I arrived at the Hynes Convention Center in Boston around 9, 9:15 AM, and got ourselves some nice blue wristbands guaranteeing us admission to the Saturday Night Concert. Not long after lining up in the Queue Room, the room where they put all the outrageously long lines so as not to block space where people needed to actually move, we were moved upstairs to the 3rd floor, where we were crammed into line like a can of sardines for the Bill Amend Panel.

For those of you outside the loop, Bill Amend is the creator of Foxtrot which I used to read all the time in the newspaper as a youngling. After the panel started, he greeted all of us, and told us how immensely grateful he was to be welcomed to PAX, referring back to nerd superstar Wil Wheaton's opening speech the day before where he greeted everyone by saying "Welcome home." During the panel he mainly showed us a selection of his strips featuring video game jokes, and educated us on how hard it is to deal with newspaper syndication as sometimes he'll want to use a vulgar word such as "sucks" which apparently they're very against. Also he told us how sometimes he'll have good ideas for a comic but he won't be able to use it because it would only appeal to the small percentage of his readers because it's video game related. A pretty solid panel, but we peaced out a little ways into the Q & A portion cause we were pretty eager to check out the show floor.

The place was PACKED. Featuring fan favorite booths such as Microsoft, Behemoth, Ubisoft, Nvidia, Nintendo and plenty of other booths of varying importance to nerdkind. Beckett and I browsed, photographed, and got as much swag (free stuff) as we could in a brief period, before we headed downstairs to get some sweet merch (official PAX stuff) before we headed back into the Queue Room to wait for the Make a Strip panel.

Every PAX, be it PAX Prime or PAX East, Jerry lays down a script and Mike draws the comic for the following Monday live all while taking Questions from the Audience. This was the first time Beckett or I had seen the duo in person, live, and the few hours we spent being entertained by them were some of the best of the convention. They took whatever questions, stories, or donations the audience had graciously and with a smile. They had funny quips at each other and at the audience, and it was an experience that just left me feeling like "no wonder these guys have amassed such a huge following." Example: One twenty-something got up on the mike and said the following, albeit with more quips from Jerry and Mike and stumbling to get out what he wanted to say: "Hey, a friend of mine graduated school, is working in technology but feels really lost and wants to try and do something internet based, but is having a really hard time getting things off the ground. Any advice for me- I mean my friend?"

Jerry responded, "After this is over, come over to this curtain on the side of the stage, and I'll talk with you at length."

I love those guys.

After the panel concluded, we got some lunch at the Prudential Center Food Court (Flamers FTW) and returned to the show floor. We jumped around some more, got some more swag, played a few demos, and next thing we knew it was 6 and the floor was closing. We dropped our bags off at the car, and wasted what was left of the next hour lounging and watching people dominate on Rock Band in the aptly named Rock Band Lounge. When 7PM rolled around, we returned to the Queue Room for the 3rd and final time to wait for the night's concert.

Waiting in line, or rather, sitting in line we were gifted with some free donuts from a fellow PAX-goer, as well as some pipe cleaners to pass the next hour with from the PAX Staff, the Enforcers, a fan volunteer security group who helps run the show. Shortly after however, the two large screens that were set up on the sides of the line started being filled with typed messages of how huge nerds we were for making pipe-cleaner crowns (I made a lizard, much cooler.) It soon proceeded to lead us in a series of text-to-vote games, which were certainly time killers, before handing our drawn attention over to the Frag Dolls, a group of women gamers sponsored by Ubisoft. We were then instructed, nay, mandated or whatever its female equivalent is, to follow the visual cues of a dancing MC Hammer outline on the huge screen, in order to break some sort of Line Dancing record. Though humiliating, the shame was lessened by the fact that almost everyone was doing it, and those who weren't were either morbidly obese or too busy playing card games that I've never heard of before.

Shortly after, at the apex of our line waiting experience, after everyone was on their feet ready to roll, our captors played "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton, better known as the theme song to Portal, and everybody, everybody, sang it. This phenomenon cemented the fact that I was among fellow nerds. I can remember this moment of clarity and a single remark left my lips, "I love my life."

As the song ended, we paraded out towards the Main Theater to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Proudly, everyone sang until the time whence they entered the Theater, eager for the night to continue, by enjoying the semi-final round of the Omeganauts Tournament, and listening to the musical stylings of the Video Game Orchestra, Paul and Storm, and Jonathan Coulton himself.

To Be Continued...

But if you can not wait, feel free to peruse my pictures of the festivities via either Facebook or Picasa; read my tweets of the night's events; or watch the video blogs (vlogs) I made with Beckett of our day over at my brand-spankin' new Youtube site.

Review: Green Zone

Well, Green Zone was most certainly a movie. I can tell you that much. Deeper than that though, I really don't think there is much else to say. The movie wasn't bad, in fact I thought it was a pretty good movie, employing the shaky-camera technique that's become popular in all those war movies. But when it came to the plot and the action, there was never that critical moment where everyone watching really got into the movie.

In terms of action, there's a pretty solid chunk full at the end of the movie, but other than that it's kind of lacking. Being a movie based in 2003-04 Iraq, there's only so much you can do without throwing continuity to the wind. That being said the movie does a good job of tying in real events to the story being told.

I really do want to say more, but there isn't anything to say. There was nothing in this movie that made me hate it, but at the same time nothing that made me love it. The acting was solid, I thought the plot was pretty predictable, and the action wasn't bad. The movie I think was more focused on making a political statement about the war in Iraq, than on being a movie which isn't bad I guess, but it just meant that anyone trying to get into the movie was beaten over the head with political ideals when all they really wanted was a nice action flick. All things considered, if you don't end up seeing this movie, you're not going to have to worry about it in the long run. 5.5/10.

Review: Shutter Island

There are some movies where you go and get so immersed in the plot that you forget you're in the theater. Shutter Island is not one of those movies. Indeed, this is the kind of movie where you spend the entire movie trying to soak up every detail, track every plot point, and uncover every hidden motive, all in a fruitless attempt to figure out what is going to happen next.

Directed by Martin Scorsese, you know that there is a plot twist or two down the line. But even knowing that,you're still going to get blindsided when the plot culminates. This is a masterpiece of the mind, playing sleight of hand with your cinematic experience, and operating at least 4 layers under the surface. If you don't like having to think when you go to the movies, this is not your kind of movie.

Even though the trailers make the movie look like some sort of psychological paranormal thriller, the movie falls more into line with psychological experience. The movie is littered with false leads and misleading dialogue making our pathetic attempts to predict what would happen next utterly pointless, and that was one of the things that made the movie so riveting. Though you might guess a plot point here or an action there, for every one time you guess right there are at least 5 things you won't see coming.

Going into this movie, I was pretty unenthused. I figured, this is just another film meant to mess with your head, ending with some twisted outcome that no one sees coming for some obtuse reason. And while it does mess with your head, the turnaround just works. Not works in the sense, "Oh yeah okay, I can see that," but more in the sense of, "Mother of God. THAT'S BRILLIANT!"

There are some movies where after the credits roll, you and your friends hop in the car, and you talk about the movie for about five minutes before changing the subject to where you want to stop for late night burgers. Shutter Island is not one of those movies. We talked about it all the way home, and most of the day today.

If you go and see this movie, you'll have something to talk about at the water cooler the next day, with friends when you're sitting around doing nothing or with all your buddies online. Whether you loved it, hated it, didn't get it, this movie does a great job of starting talk, which is probably why it evolved from a small release into number one at the box office. I'm going to go ahead and give this a 9/10.