A list of Excuses for why I can't write my 10 page paper:

• I sprained my typing finger (right, middle) so I can't type it. Or write it.
• I was too busy watching a 7 hour cricket match between Bangladesh and Zimbabwe on ESPN3 on the xBox 360.
• I had to watch the latest Blamimation on PATV.
• I had to watch the one of the movies for the paper, that I should've watched two months ago.
• I had to watch the countless videos of John Mayer that Jake kept finding on YouTube.
• I had to listen to Jake play guitar.
• I had to check, double check, and triple check my See Friendships with random people on Facebook.
• I had to Tweet about how bad this paper was.
• I had to make incoherent babbling sounds.
• I had to write a dozen fake intros to the paper using slang and cuss words to describe the class.
• I had to delete those intros.
• I had to write how much I hated the class.
• I had to delete that too.
• Andy kept talking my ear off every time I wanted to start working.
• Seriously, he'd be all like, "Hey man stop going on Facebook and do your work." 
• What a chatty Cathy right? 
• He's such a jerk.
• I kept staring at our fish, Wendel for inspiration.
• The Christmas lights we use to light our apartment just make it too comfortable to entertain the thought of doing anything other then staring at their dull white glow....
• I had to throw my hat in the corner in disgust of how bad I'm doing at writing this paper.
• I had to moan about how my hat is now over in the corner and I want it back on my head.
• I had to moan about how I'm too lazy to go get it and Andy why won't you go get it for me I don't care if it's farther away from you just go get it I know it's my hat but c'mon please you're such a jerk I hate you why don't you love me fine I'll go get it jerk.
• I had to double check and see if Netflix works on the xBox.
• I'm thirsty and I can't work if I'm thirsty.
• Alright so I'm totally gonna do it, but I just gotta pick out some music to listen to.
• What time're the Pats on again? Oh I could totally just start it after. Okay fine I'll start it!
• Dude this song's really good. 
• Just sit back and listen man.
• Close your eyes and just go for it.
• I had to wonder if Kevin was having fun in class. Or wherever he is.
• I had to ask what was for dinner.
• I had to get yelled at.
• I had to ask Jake how his car ride was first.
• But seriously this is getting ridiculous, I'm gonna go start it.
• I had to write a blog about how I couldn't write it.
• I did write a blog about how I couldn't write it.