No-Shave November

Yeah, I took a month off, you wanna fight about it? But fo rizzle, my bad. I'm sure you guys were really upset. I could tell by the huge pile of reader mail I got regarding my absence (read: non-existent.)

So what have I done in this past month? Well I did that whole radio training deal. Kevin and myself turned in our program application for next semester, and if everything goes well you'll be hearing our show entitled, Our Sincerest Apologies come the end of January. Did some overnights, some sit ins, and now we play the waiting game.

Also did some classes unfortunately. Food Science is still touch and go, Anthro sucks, and Greek Myth is still bossome. By the way, Boss + Awesome = Bossome. Did that, picked my classes for next semester (going to be awesome), went home for thanksgiving, worked a little bit, and now I'm back for the last two weeks of the semester.

You might notice that nowhere in the above paragraphs did I say "I shaved." Most of the time you could chalk this down to me glossing over the unimportant details. But for the month of November, it's because I didn't shave. No-Shave November has become a tradition among my friends and myself, and we often find that we feel more and more manly as the month goes on.

"But Jim! Your rugged, manly beard must be out of control!"

No need for concern, my rugged, manly beard is fully under control. But I must warn you, some (I) have feared that it is too awesome. I love having a beard. My beard doesn't come in the best, but it is most certainly a beard, it is mine, and I love it. I don't know why, but beards have always just been one of those things that I've aspired to have. That, a hoverboard, a fedora and bullwhip, and the black suit, hat and Ray-Ban combo. Name those three movies and win a prize! (Not really.)

Back to my point. Beards are sweet. In my mind, the only people who don't like beards are guys who can't grow them, chicks, and the New York Yankees. (The hate is implied on that last one.) I mean really, growing a beard is pretty much the most masculine thing a guy can do. Girls can have six pack abs and ripped pecks, but let's face it, that's kind of gross. Barring the occasional bearded lady, you're not going to find a girl out there that can have a sweet beard.

Examples of great dudes in history with beards:

• Abe Lincoln - He had a top hat too, so x2 multiplier on the awesome.
• Heracles - Beard. Club. Lionskin. Three of his most identifiable features. Boom.
  
• Indiana Jones - He was always at his best when he sported the 5 o'clock shadow. Always.
• Confucius - Pretty much the greatest wisdom beard ever.
• Peter Griffin - He housed a family of birds in his beard.
  
• Merlin - I mean really. He's a WIZARD.
• Albus Dumbledore - See above.
  
• Jesus - 'Nuff said.
• Chuck Norris - 'Nuff said.
• Mr. T - I pity the fool who tries to start something with Mr. T. (Sorry, had to do it.)
  

The list goes on. Beards are great, and anyone who says otherwise is straight up lying to your face. So whether you choose to celebrate Octobeard, No-Shave November, Decembeard, Manuary, or some other twist on a month without shaving, go and be proud of yourself. You can grow a beard; You are a Man. And anyone who tells you, "Your beard looks gross!" or "You've got a little food hanging right off the side of your mouth there..." is just jealous, of your manliness.

My Thoughts: Private School

Alright, so for those outside of the loop, I went to public elementary school, then for 5th and 6th grades I went to a Charter school, and for 7th and 8th I went to another private school in town, all before returning to the local public high school, and then attending the lovely University of Massachusetts. Now that that's out of the way, let me say this. Private schools are dumb.

I don't know who decided that rich parents should put rich kids into a different school with other rich kids, but that guy should be shot. The entire premise of private schools is that they are some sort of nurturing environment for these children to learn, and to come to their full potential. B.S. Seriously. Having experienced both systems, I can honestly say that there's no big difference scholastically. I could have easily learned the three or four things I remember from 7th and 8th grade at a public school. So now that we can say that the education is the same, some people would still argue that this small nurturing environment protects their kids from the social deviants one might run into at a public school.

This is one subject that I'm very heated about. The idea that going to this small private school will somehow nurture and protect their child from the outside troubles of the world is ridiculous and frankly naive. Every single person that I know who went to private school either had an older sibling or was friends with someone who had an older sibling, and when rich kids get older, they have more access to more stuff, like alcohol, and when the younger kid sees the older kid drinking, they get into it earlier than their sibling did. And boarding school? I'll hit that in a bit because that is a WHOLE different can of worms. So when these parents are sending their kids to private school to protect their children, they're actually screwing their kids over.

See, in public schools, yes, as the grade ladder is climbed by kids, drinking eventually becomes a factor. Some kids do, some kids don't. Some kids friends try it, and then go hang out with a different crowd, other kids decide not to try it and go find other friends to hang out with. It's a big deal at some point. But by sending your kid to your small nurturing school, where you can almost count the number of kids in your grade on your fingers, these kids are trapped. The following ensues:

• Bobby sees their older sibling, Charlie drinking a beer!
• Bobby trys it, or sneaks one, or is given one by Charlie.
• Of course Bobby now thinks drinking is mature, and the coolest thing to do.
• Bobby gets his close friend Frank to drink too!
• Bobby and Frank now spread this "cool drinking" fad around the grade.
• Eventually little Sammy is hanging out with Bobby, Frank and the other 5 guys that consist of the grades male population.
• They offer him a beer.

And then Sammy either has to choose social exile or drinking. What would you choose? Private school kids are rather unkind. If Sammy had attended public school, he could had chosen to go hang out with some other cool kids who don't drink. I mean, this scenario eventually happens to everyone, but normally it happens a little later. All I'm saying is, private school causes kids to choose between conforming, or being social outcasts. And often times shoots would be good kids down a nice path of drugs and alcohol nice and early in life.

Boarding school. Boarding school takes this scenario and kicks it up a notch. By removing the parents from the equation, Bobby up there is gonna be boozing it up after lights out whenever he wants cause Tom, from the grade above, sold him a bottle of cheap watered down vodka. I'm sure parents thought to themselves, "Oh yeah. Sending Sammy off to boarding school will be great for him. Knowing I'm not there to help guide his moral compass at an important time in his life is gonna be great for him!" Seriously. That and "I know I can't get Sammy to do his homework now, when I'm around, but I'm sure if he's off at school living with a bunch of other kids, who probably don't do their homework either, they'll live together and I'm sure they'll do all their work before they go off to play!" College is fine though, because after high school, any moral compass guiding you attempt to do with your son and/or daughter will be met with laughter or awkward faces and yelling to "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!"

Sending your kid to private school and then telling them their special and get preferential treatment like you do growing up going to public school just teaches your kid to believe that he's better than those kids over at John Woods High School. Some kids get out of private schools relatively unscathed, and have been tempered by the fires of private society. They lead productive, happy lives, and are not snobbish high brow pricks. They are in the minority. So just do your kids a favor folks, instead of sending them off to Oceanside Academy for Prestigious Students, drive 'em down to your local public school 5 days a week, and let them navigate the wilds of public school. You raised 'em right, they'll be fine. And if you see 'em taking a sharp left instead of a right, just give 'em a swift kick in the right direction. Till next time.