No-Shave November

Yeah, I took a month off, you wanna fight about it? But fo rizzle, my bad. I'm sure you guys were really upset. I could tell by the huge pile of reader mail I got regarding my absence (read: non-existent.)

So what have I done in this past month? Well I did that whole radio training deal. Kevin and myself turned in our program application for next semester, and if everything goes well you'll be hearing our show entitled, Our Sincerest Apologies come the end of January. Did some overnights, some sit ins, and now we play the waiting game.

Also did some classes unfortunately. Food Science is still touch and go, Anthro sucks, and Greek Myth is still bossome. By the way, Boss + Awesome = Bossome. Did that, picked my classes for next semester (going to be awesome), went home for thanksgiving, worked a little bit, and now I'm back for the last two weeks of the semester.

You might notice that nowhere in the above paragraphs did I say "I shaved." Most of the time you could chalk this down to me glossing over the unimportant details. But for the month of November, it's because I didn't shave. No-Shave November has become a tradition among my friends and myself, and we often find that we feel more and more manly as the month goes on.

"But Jim! Your rugged, manly beard must be out of control!"

No need for concern, my rugged, manly beard is fully under control. But I must warn you, some (I) have feared that it is too awesome. I love having a beard. My beard doesn't come in the best, but it is most certainly a beard, it is mine, and I love it. I don't know why, but beards have always just been one of those things that I've aspired to have. That, a hoverboard, a fedora and bullwhip, and the black suit, hat and Ray-Ban combo. Name those three movies and win a prize! (Not really.)

Back to my point. Beards are sweet. In my mind, the only people who don't like beards are guys who can't grow them, chicks, and the New York Yankees. (The hate is implied on that last one.) I mean really, growing a beard is pretty much the most masculine thing a guy can do. Girls can have six pack abs and ripped pecks, but let's face it, that's kind of gross. Barring the occasional bearded lady, you're not going to find a girl out there that can have a sweet beard.

Examples of great dudes in history with beards:

• Abe Lincoln - He had a top hat too, so x2 multiplier on the awesome.
• Heracles - Beard. Club. Lionskin. Three of his most identifiable features. Boom.
  
• Indiana Jones - He was always at his best when he sported the 5 o'clock shadow. Always.
• Confucius - Pretty much the greatest wisdom beard ever.
• Peter Griffin - He housed a family of birds in his beard.
  
• Merlin - I mean really. He's a WIZARD.
• Albus Dumbledore - See above.
  
• Jesus - 'Nuff said.
• Chuck Norris - 'Nuff said.
• Mr. T - I pity the fool who tries to start something with Mr. T. (Sorry, had to do it.)
  

The list goes on. Beards are great, and anyone who says otherwise is straight up lying to your face. So whether you choose to celebrate Octobeard, No-Shave November, Decembeard, Manuary, or some other twist on a month without shaving, go and be proud of yourself. You can grow a beard; You are a Man. And anyone who tells you, "Your beard looks gross!" or "You've got a little food hanging right off the side of your mouth there..." is just jealous, of your manliness.

My Thoughts: Halloween

When it comes to Holidays, everyone usually touts their birthday and Christmahanukwanzaka as their favorites. But lets not forget good ole Halloween. For everyone between the ages of 3 and 30, it's pretty much the best night of the entire fall.

On Halloween you get what you want pretty much. When you're a kid, you want to just binge out on candy, BOOM Halloween. When you're a teenager, you want to hang out with your friends, play some pranks, and have some candy on the side, SNAP Halloween. Then when you're a young adult, all you want to do is get drunk and mack on some chicks (or dudes if you're in to that,) BAM Halloween. As most holiday's are, Halloween is a great excuse to buck shackles normally forced upon you by convention and The Man, and go out and just have some fun.

For some reason, some guy, some where, decided that Halloween costumes should attempt to be less realistic, and more slutty. He was definitely a bro. I believe I speak for most men when I say, Thank You. Halloween has become one of the most fun weekends on campus at college in part for this reason. I, for one, never knew that the dress codes for sailor women, army women, firewomen, and particularly nurses was so... how do you say.... form-fitting. And while I think everyone enjoys this variety of delicious eye candy, it's also just a great way to meet new people.

On Friday night, I dressed up as Jimmy Neutron. I know, I know. Awesome. Equally awesome though, was the calls of "Hey! Jimmy!" when I was walking through the dining hall, and later walking around. Being able to walk up to somebody and strike up a conversation with a "Hey, what're you dressed up as?" or a "DUDE! SWEET COSTUME!" makes going out on Halloween one of my favorite nights of the year. I walked up to one kid who was wearing a Purple Parrots shirt, and argued why Purple Parrots sucked and why Green Monkeys dominated, tried to convince a sailor girl that Zeus was in fact not Pikachu in vain, quacked with the Mighty Ducks, high-fived a pedophile for being awesome at flip cup, and made friends with Sloth, Envy, and Greed. I mean seriously, can you say you did that any other night of the year? No, and that is what makes Halloween one of the best, and most underrated holidays of the year.

I am personally of the opinion that there should be more Holidays like Halloween. There's Christmas in July. Why not Halloween in April?

Video did not kill the Radio Star, I'm still here

Oh me, so modest right? Well that's neither here nor there. Well in the recent weeks myself and my good amigo Kevin have been going to the UMass radio station WMUA 91.1 Amherst, and have been going through DJ training. I decided I wanted to do this over the summer, when the only reprieve I had through the monotony that was working at the Marblehead Garden Center was listening to podcasts, specifically The Adam Carolla Podcast, and The Sandbox podcast.

Now the Sandbox podcast is a shortened down version of the radio show The Sandbox on WFNX 101.7 Lynn/Boston. Listening to this show every day (for the most part) got me to thinking. What do I do for the most part? Talk. What do these guys do all morning? Talk. The gears were turning. So I figured, hey why not give it a shot right? So I looked up the info, shot off an email, and forgot about it. A couple weeks went by, and I got a response. All the info about training, when they would be having meetings etc. So I my mind was set.

A month or so later, school started, and the time came for the first meeting. I was pretty much on my way out the door when I saw Kevin. In what I could only assume was out of suspicion of some murderous plot against him, Kevin asked me what I was doing. As I told him, he nodded and said "OK, I'll go with you." I was awestruck. Someone else wants to do the radio? How did I not pick this up all last year? But as I soon learned Kevin was no novice when it came to radio.

Kevin's small town, where we just recently learned they do indeed have cable TV, (A shocker, I know,) also had it's own little radio station run by the high school. Kevin was a DJ there and pretty much had free reign. Their version of giveaways was giving away the class books that were property of the school. That right there's sticking it to the man. But eventually after getting a new antenna the FCC, who had previously ignored their small 1 mile radius station, started taking notice, and made them actually start doing things the "right" way. Lame.

So then Kevin went to college and forgot about it. But then I rekindled it! Whooo! So now we're training and having fun and all that good stuff. We've got our test to see if we get to be DJ's in two weeks I believe. You can wish us luck. If all goes we'll get a show next semester. We don't have a format, and we don't have any idea what genre we want to play, but we figure we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

In the meantime however, we've got access to the production studio and we got a chance to get in there two weeks ago and take it for a test run. So if you feel like wasting an hour and would like to hear me talk about nothing, instead of just reading me write about nothing, give it a download. And if you do please, please, please let me know what you think. Okay? Thanks.

Wow that was a pretty long post for me just to ask you to oblige me. Oh well. :D

Boss of the Week: Dr. Tuck

So the other day in my Greek Mythology class, we were talking about Dionysus, drinking, alcohol, and how in the ancient world it was seen as some sort of divine force, and allowed one to transform into someone else. It was interesting, but then my teacher busted out this story:

Back in the 80's, he was out on a date with some girl (who in retrospect wasn't all that hot) and due to the fact he didn't have a car, he ended up being out on the date with this girl and his three friends. He talked about how they loved tequila, got drunk then went to Burger King, (some of you may know it as the B.K. Lounge,) and were standing in line when these three HUGE guys walked in. Not only were they ripped but they also were wearing Gold's Gym wife beaters to prove it. He then told us about his friend Guido, a small guy, with a big personality. Standing at the back of the line, our teacher and this girl were right in front of the three amigos, so Guido goes up to him and whispers loudly enough so that everyone can hear, "Hey, Tony, don't steroids make your nuts shrink?" Immediately our teacher tried to brush it off as he looked around nervously, but it was too late; One of the big boys had overheard.

He looked down at Guido, "Excuse me? What did you just say?"
Guido coyly responded, "I was just wondering if Steroids made your nuts shrink."
With a look of sheer anger, the Big guy asked if Guido would like to take this outside.
Guido obviously said yes, but then to take things further he said, "Tony, back me up."

Now with this on him, he looked at Guido, and then to the girl who obviously said, "Well, what're you going to do?" with that look that said you better get your ass out there. Begrudgingly he went out to the parking lot.

Shortly after, as he was laying on the sidewalk bleeding and bruised, he saw the girl get into the car with the three muscleheads and drive off.

Moral of the story: My Greek Mythology teacher is a Boss. As if being a walking encyclopedia on Greek Mythology, and sharing my views of making fun of those Jesus Lovers who walk around and hand out pamphlets all around campus wasn't enough, he's got hilarious stories like this one. I've probably learned the most in his class so far this year. Plus, it's one of those things where I actually like going to class. And so to you, Dr. Tuck, I award my first Boss of the Week award. Here's to you.

Multi-Tasking: Friend or Foe?

I embark on this post, with neither a direction, nor a purpose. Except maybe to alleviate my boredom. As I sit here in class, my professor talking about something regarding Japanese internment camps, and constitutional law, I can not help but turn my attention away. Not because I don't feel as if this topic deserves my full attention, is unimportant, or the professor is unintelligent, but instead because that is what I do.

Now I wouldn't say I have ADD. In fact if I really get into the zone with something it is hard to pull me away. *coughvideogamesandcomicbookscough* I think instead what it is, is that I've almost become dependent on multi-tasking. A self-proclaimed multi-tasking master, more than once this summer, I sat in my room reading a book, watching SportsCenter, and talking to people online. Good times right? But now when I'm stuck in class, listening to my professor talk, I just can't do it. I have to do something else. More often than not I don't have my computer, so I just end up doodling all over my notebook. But with a computer in my hands, I've bounced back and forth between my Facebook, Twitter, and iGoogle about a million times, looking for something to keep me distracted. The only reason I've settled on writing a post is because from my teacher's perspective it probably looks like I'm taking notes very, very adamantly. The fact that I can look up and pretend to nod in agreement while I type does well to enhance this illusion.

But now, I ask for your feedback. As I would very much like some input on this topic. Is it a bad thing that I can't put my full attention on my teacher? Don't get me wrong, I'm still learning, hearing, thinking, but at the same time I've also got a part of my brain working on writing down this entire situation that I'm in. Is it bad that I can't feel my right foot, as it fell asleep a long time ago, and I felt like letting it take a nap? Do you do this same thing? What classes does this happen to you most in? Or can you just walk in to class and enter in to a trance-like state when the professor begins talking, and become some sort of note-taking machine? I'm bored, and I'd be eager to hear your thoughts on this matter of utmost importance.

Starting.....Now!

Psych! Now!

Food Toxicology: Everything you eat will kill you. Sorry.

So as I mentioned in my last post, one of the classes I am taking this semester is Food Science. Now this class is unique in that it is split up into three separate sections. I am not going to bother looking up the other two, but the first section is Food Toxicology.

Now, first things first, this professor literally looks like he's going to keel over at any second, if not that he should already have keeled over. While pacing and postulating back and forth across the lecture hall, pausing at points to change the transparency on the projector ( I don't think he knows what a computer is, but I do believe he fears it is but one of many signs of the upcoming apocalypse,) I consistently believe that there is no possible way he will be able to turn around an make it back to the projector before he falls to the ground dead. Yes he is that old. So as he tries to "teach" the class, I am constantly distracted by the thought that if he doesn't die of old age, he will die of some form of cancer, or one of the many "carcinogens" he is teaching us about.

That being said, from what I can grasp from this class so far, absolutely every food you've ever eaten, yes, even that super healthy protein shake you just had as part of that new diet you're trying, contains "carcinogens", or toxins that will give you cancer and you will die. Or at least that's what the Professor keeps saying. It's only under questioning, or as a brief side-statement, will he drop the fact that in fact these "carcinogens" are pretty much omnipresent in everything, but in fact require huge, almost nonsensical amounts, in order to actually give you the cancer he describes.

He also has talked previously about food adulteration, and how every food you've ever been eaten was most likely at one point in time tampered with by the company that produced it, in order to aid their money making agenda. He then mentioned briefly that this was mainly in the early 1900's and our food now is watched to make sure that it isn't tampered with. For the most part.

This man clearly strikes me as a cynic, and I believe it is this quality that has kept him out of the grave for so long. He has perhaps sworn off all food, and merely now drinks the blood of the purest unicorns in order to keep his flesh alive. But that is neither here nor there. The reason I am writing this post in particular is due to the grim scenario he displayed in class today.

Today's topic for the most part was teratogenesis, or birth defects. After showing a few slides, with some studies that I couldn't really copy down in detail (which I brought upon myself, due to not buying the course packet. Fight the power,) he then proceeded to show about 20 different pictures of rats and monkeys with birth defects. Really.... just..... great stuff.... I really, and I mean, really appreciated teratogenesis after I saw that one deformed rat fetus, that looked more like a chicken nugget, and reminded me of one of those chicken tenders I had for lunch today. Really, an eye opener.

It's probably just me, but I like to look at the upside of things. I am an optimist, and prefer to live in blissful ignorance or at least blissful ignoring things that I know I don't have any control of. So when this professor comes up and starts talking about carcinogens and teratogenesis and about how some carcinogens aren't actually carcinogens, but the second you have something else along with that carcinogen, you're basically going to be a walking tumor, I can't help but get annoyed. I don't want to hear about this. I just want to go grab a cheeseburger, maybe a double cheeseburger, no, probably a double cheeseburger, and go about my business. It's classes like this, and movies like Super Size Me that just annoy me. I mean, don't get me wrong, knowledge is power and all that, but I also believe that there are somethings that the general public is just better off not knowing.

For example, what happens to cows in processing factories is enough to turn any red blooded American steak eating male into a vegetarian. Best thing to do is to just turn a blind eye in my opinion. I mean sure, if someone really wants to know what exactly is in their Happy Meal, let 'em have it. They're asking. But for me? Just put it in the wrapper, put the wrapper in the bag, give me the bag, and let me eat it. I think now-a-days people put too much stock in knowing everything, and being healthy. Being fortunate by having good genes and a quick metabolism, I can pretty much eat whatever I want and be fine. I'm often referred to as the "skinny fat kid" by at least one of my friends. Bully for me, but I also believe in balance. You've got to work out, or at least go for a run if you're gonna eat fast food. It's that simple. And it really grinds my gears when someone comes along with yet another 400 page study detailing the horrific side effects that will come to dominate your daily life, by driving to your nearest burger joint and picking up some food on the go.

WE GET IT. FAST FOOD = BAD.

Everywhere I go someone is telling me, or has posted a nifty sign, about what constitutes a "good" diet. Bite me. If I want a burger, I'm gonna eat a god damn burger. And if I don't go for a run to make up for it, I'll accept the consequences. NOW SHUT UP. I can go on and on. But I fear I've already rambled too far from my original point, being that gross pictures of fetuses and telling you everything you eat is going to give you cancer, is a pretty dumb way to teach a class. Maybe soon I'll give you a rather long rant about how they don't give us full sized cheeseburgers at the Dining Commons anymore, and instead force little Sliders upon us. If you're lucky right?

Jim. Out.

Don't Worry, I'm Still Here or Jim's Master Plan to try and get through this semester without buying a single book.

WHOOOOOOOOO BABY. Sorry bout the delay there folks, but I kinda sorta got swept up in that whole "Hey I'm back at college where I don't have to wake up till 11 every day and can eat and do pretty much whatever I want whenever I want," thing. My bad. But what's important is that I'm still here. For people who care you can find what classes I'm taking right here! Pretty chill right? Anyway, class is awesome for the most part. My Greek Myth teacher has said penis 3 classes running, I get candy for answering questions then stand in a field for an hour in Astro, I don't have to take tests because I'm in the Honors section for my Legal class, I could probably nap through Food Science and Ace it, and Anthro straight up sucks. Other than that everything's good in the hood.

"Now Jim, whats that second title for your blog today all about?" Well, I'm glad you asked. Cause you definitely did. Anywho, so one of the main lessons I've learned from my first year of college was that you don't really need to buy the books that the Professor says that you need. Some classes will put the readings online anyway, others will just review the material in class. There are the occasional few classes where you actually need the book. I might be in two of those classes this semester, but I am gonna do everything I can to get out of that. A few classes last year, I thought I was gonna need the book so I bit the bullet and bought 'em, only to find out that after the first test, where I didn't use the book to study, I could easily not have the book and've been just fine. So I'm going to do everything I can to get out of buying a single book this semester.

Aside from the main, and most pertinent reason, that textbooks are way too overpriced and after you've shelled out your 150 bucks for your one book for one semester, you can return it at the end of the semester for a solid 15 bucks, if that, I've also decided to do this in an attempt to test my theory that you don't actually need a book to do well. That and too see how resourceful I can be. See, I'm pretty sure that they have copies of all the books at the library. The only classes that I think I'm gonna need it for are Anthro and Legal.

• Food Science's book is a packet containing all the slides, I can subvert that by going to class.
• Astronomy, our quiz is on the constellations. And we get candy. Nuff said.
• Greek Myth, I think that I know enough already, and if I take notes and do the readings online I think I'll be fine.

The problem is Anthro. Mainly. Anthro I've got to do a Word list from the end of every chapter due Monday of every week. They're not online, and for the first two weeks, when they were because the professor wanted to be sure everyone got the book, I looked up the words online, and ended up guessing for a solid 25% of 'em. But I'll check the Library and if they've got it in there I'll see if I can't check it out, do all the word lists, or at least a solid few for a while. Besides that, there's Legal. I think I can get away with not getting the book, as most of the questions he asks us are more on our thoughts on the subject than the details of the subject itself. The Honors section is going to be hard though. I think most of those readings are going to be online, and the few that aren't I think I can borrow a friends book. (I've got 3 friends in another section of the class.) So. I think I can do it. I know that Zero of you few out there care, but this is a pertinent subject in my life right now so I thought I'd share. Anyway it was a good way for me to break back into this whole blogging thing. Ight. I'll hit you guys all up on the flipside.
Later hombres!