Ah... the weekend. Ever since kids have been going to school, and even after we've moved on to work we've thought that three day weekends should become the standard instead of this B.S. five day hell that we've been subjected to since Preschool. We're all about equality man! 5:2 is a crap ratio. Even the Bookies in Vegas don't like those odds. With a four day work week, and a three day weekend, the world would become a better place. Follow me on this:
No More "Mondays" - Well, yeah, we're not going to entirely buck the system, and rename all the days of the week. That would be silly. What I'm talking about is no more of this, "Ugh it's Monday I feel like killing myself just so I don't have to go to school/classes/work today," feeling. Studies show conclusive proof* that a big part of this feeling comes from people not getting enough rest out of the weekend. With only two days of rest and relaxation, people need to "make the most" out of their weekends filling it up with two days of partying (for the youngsters) or two days of family trips (for those with youngsters) or two days of catching up on all that reclining and watching TV you missed while you were working (for everyone else). With a three day weekend, people can really settle in to their relaxing stride and mellow out, so that they can party, go on trips, and watch TV all weekend, but be ready to get back at it on the new, improved, and less sucky Monday.
3 Day Weekends Save The Economy - Think about it. If everyone is working five days out of the week to get money, they only have two days to spend it! Simple math here people! Three day weekends give everyone more time to go on vacation, go to the mall, or just waste time online! Any way you cut it, more money is being spent outside the desk/lecture hall/cubicle than in. Another prestigious study has shown conclusive evidence** that stores always have huge sales on three day weekends because they know that people are going to spend more money! These sales could then last all the time, dropping prices, putting spending up, and getting more money circulated into the struggling Economy.
More Time To Exercise - One word: Obesity. Two words: Playing outside. Studies have shown that one of the main reasons that people are getting fat is due to lack of exercise***. If we were to have three day weekends, people could still spend two days sitting by the warm LCD of your computer screen, and the third day running through meadows or skipping through fields. Or playing football or baseball. Even the nerdiest kids feel bad shut inside for three days straight without seeing the sunlight. I would know. However, with three day weekends, you can just go ahead and make yourself a little video games, playing outside, and video games sandwich every weekend. Hell, if you're feeling a little energetic you could even make an Uh-Oh Oreo out of it and go outside two days out of the weekend! The world would be your oyster!
So I think, that what we all really need to do, is just start not going to school/class/work on Friday. When your Teacher/Professor/Boss comes up to you on Monday, to reprimand you for not showing up on Friday, you can just say with a nice relaxed brain, and a tank full of energy from your glorious weekend, "Three day weekends are the way of the future." Sure, you might get detention/nothing/fired, but when this movement comes to pass, you shall be heralded as a Visionary, or a Prophet. Or just a Bad Ass who plays by his/her own rules. But if we act in unison, the Man will listen, and see the wisdom of our words. REBEL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! TOGETHER WE SHALL BRING THIS GLORIOUS REVOLUTION TO PASS! VIVE LE TROIS JOURS DE FIN DE LA SEMAINE! OR JUST YAY THREE DAY WEEKEND! THE POWER IS YOURS!
* Not really.
** Another lie.
*** True! I'm pretty sure!
No comments:
Post a Comment