Jim Redding vs. Hewlett-Packard

I went to Amherst two weekends ago to visit my main man Andy, as well as to visit my pad with John. I brought my laptop, I used it all weekend, all was good in the world.

Then I got home. My computer predicted a SMART error on my Hard Drive.

I don't know what that means really, but my computer is down for the count, and since then I've been waiting on HP to get themselves together. See, I've been put in a very peculiar position. My original laptop that I bought from HP in 2008 was not only my first laptop, but also a piece of junk. My Dad got me a extended warranty to go with it, which is a good thing. In the two months I had it, the mouse broke, the fingerprint reader didn't work, and even after sending it in to get it all fixed once, it came back, still broken.

After ripping them a new one, my Dad convinced HP to keep their crappy laptop, and send me a shiny new one. This was a good thing. And it was a good thing for the last two years, but then my Hard Drive decided that two years was a good run, and offed itself somewhere between Daniel Shays Highway and 128. Naturally I call my good friends at Hewlett Packard, and tell them my dilemma. Then my nice Indian helper hit me with some excellent news!

My service plan didn't switch from my original laptop to the new one they sent me. I was then told I'd receive a phone call in the next 24-48 hours from a Case Manager, the only ones with the authority to switch my warranty, telling me that they could, in fact, switch my warranty. Needless to say, I never received a phone call. After absconding to California for nearly a week I returned to my homestead perturbed that I still had not received any communication from my favorite computer company.

After giving them another ring-a-ding-ding, and repeating all of the information I had given them previously, even though I had given them a case number, allowing them to see all the information I gave them the first time, I was told that I called too late and all the Case Managers were out for the night. I guess it doesn't matter that they're in India, and that they're about 9 hours ahead. A bit agitated I was told yet again, to wait 24 hours for a phone call, and if I didn't receive one, to just call again the day after.

Finally after not getting yet another phone call, I called them yet again today. After 80 minutes, about 45 of which I spent on hold, and 25 I spent repeating information I had already told them, the 10 minutes I spent talking to my Case Manager, got me the assurance that in about 24 to 48 hours I would be recieving a phone call telling me that my warranty had indeed been switched to my current laptop. Then after that is done I can go about wrangling them to get my hard drive fixed, or at least replaced.

I forget who said it, and really I'm too lazy to look it up, but "War is Hell." And dealing with Customer Service, be it HP, Dell, Comcast, Verizon, or any other huge conglomerate, is most certainly War. A War where the odds are stacked against us. So until I get my Laptop fixed, I'm gonna be a bit short in posting. But I have some good stories to share. Well at least I think they're good, I suppose you'll be the judge. So I hope you enjoy this spiffy new set up, and this tides your unrelenting appetite for more Nerdventures. So be patient. More is on the way.

My Thoughts: Tattoos

"Hey nice tattoo."

"Thanks!"

"Yeah I've got a bitchin' tat of an Eagle soaring across my back."

"REALLY?!"

"No."

And just like that a blog post was born. I'm standing around watering at work today, when I notice, and decide to comment upon a co-worker's tattoo. I then proceeded to bamboozle my co-worker with a fabrication, which clearly worked. And it got me thinking.

Who would ever want an eagle soaring across their back?!

I mean, I get it. Tattoo's are a way for someone to represent something they feel they need to represent at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And when it's something like a family motto, or a cross, I get it. You like your family and you like Jesus. Hey, fine by me.

But then you come across people who have chinese characters, and tribal tattoos, and you think to yourself, "Well maybe he spent some time immersed in another culture." If that is the case, then awesome, but 99% of the time, that person is a douche. To be clear, I'll define douche as a person who is fake to the point where they compel others to dislike them. I mean, you can walk up to tons of jacked bro's out there with their little tribal tat's going around their biceps, and say, "Sweet tat man, what is it?" to which they'll respond, "Thanks bro/dude, it's tribal." Ask them what tribe. Please. If not only to get their best, "Uhhhhhhhhhh" face, then to publicly decry them for the douche they are.

If you have a good reason for getting a tattoo, like if you and your best friend get matching tattoos of something that bonds you two forever or whatever, power to you. If you're obsessed with something to the point where you feel it needs to be permanently etched into your skin, just don't go too big, and you're cool. And if you're in the Armed Services or something and get your unit tattoo'd on you, you're golden. But when you take off your shirt to reveal a giant majestic eagle/other animal, a tribal tattoo of any sort, or worst of all a tattoo of any sort on the small of your back (a.k.a. a tramp stamp) you're just begging for people to think less of you. It's like introducing yourself to someone for the first time by telling them you never tip anyone ever. Horrible first impression.

If you have to do it, make sure you can't live without it, because even with most of these new laser and chemical removal options, you're gonna leave some sort of mark, that you'll remember forever. If it's just a little something that you can hide by wearing a t-shirt, or pants, and makes you feel good when you see it reflected back at you, great. But just don't fall into the trap of putting something on you that has nothing to do with you. Tribal tattoo's don't count as "artistic expression." It's just lines. Put at different angles from other lines. It's dumb.

So save for Jesus, Mottos, or something with immense symbolic meaning that you hold dear, I'd sleep on it. And maybe sleep on it again. But if you have to get ink permanently inscribed into your flesh, just keep it classy, because the second you show someone your tattoo, and you hear, "Ohh... It's.... nice?" You've screwed up.