Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Dear Blog 2: The Rebloggening

Dear Blog,

I love you. I just thought I'd let you know. You let me just pour out the random crap that fills my head into your nice wordy self, and make me seem more cognizant then I am. I think it's pretty awesome. I've got a billion ideas buzzing around in my head, so expect more soon, but though I could be writing more about my kid, my thoughts, or some random story, I thought I'd just take some time out and let you know how much I love you.

Much love,

J-Red

P.S. I hope no one reads this because this is just between you and me.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

My Thoughts: Reality TV

First, as my Discussion and Debate teacher Mrs. Clough taught me, let's define our terms shall we?
  • Reality TV, (re-al-it-ee tee-vee), A Television program that is based around real people, not acting, participating in some sort of series of events.
  • Series of Events, (cee-ree-zuh ov ee-ven-tuh-zz), Situations set in to place solely to cause drama among participants.
So I think that just about covers it. Unless you want me to define Drama for you, but I think you can grasp that. I'm not trying to bore you all to death...or am I?

So. Blunt and simple, Reality TV SUCKS. It started with Survivor. At least that's when I picked up on it. And I've watched my few shows from here to there. I even liked Celebrity Mole. But at a certain point, I saw Reality TV for what it was, and is. Cheap money.

Flashback to the late 1990's....
Bill: "John we're running out of cash, and we need a new idea for a TV show."
John: "I know Bill but we don't have the money to hire anyone! No screenwriters, and certainly not a cast of characters!"
Bill: "I know! I know, but damnit we have to try! What about picking somebody up off the streets? See if they can act?"
John: "No no no, that won't work...but you might be on to something.... What if we just went around and picked some people up off the streets, and threw them into some situation just to see how they'd act?"
Bill: "I see where you're going...but where could we put them?"
John: "Someplace....desolate....Iowa?"
Bill: "Too boring...What about... an Island?"
John: "Brilliant! We'll throw some random people on an island.... but what will we do there?"
Bill: "I don't know...Survive?"
John: "Yeah...or maybe do an obstacle course or something?"
Bill: "Yeah! We'll throw 'em on an island, put them through an obstacle course or something, put a cash prize at the end, and all they've got to do is survive it all and they win! But what to call it?"
John: "I don't know....Survive? Survivor?"
Bill: "Survivor! That's it! If we do weekly eliminations I'm sure we can get a whole season's worth of drama out of this crap!"
John: "We'll have them talk trash about the others to the camera and just fill up half the episode with it! Cuts down on production time, and money! I think we've just saved our jobs!"
Bill: "No John, I think we've just started... a revolution..."
Or at least that's how I think it went. Anyway. Those guys should die. Because eventually after people got bored of filming real people in obviously fake situations for money or fame or love (e.g. Survivor, American Idol, The Bachelor,) they started trying to film people in obviously fake situations for absolutely no reason, and passing it off as Reality TV. I'm talking about crap, B.S. show's that have descriptions like "Follow Jill as she goes through the rigors of marriage, but watch out cause she's really feisty!" or "Watch as little Annie Sue struggles through her pregnancy...as a 16 year old!" JESUS CHRIST. WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WATCH THIS SHIT? I'm sorry but your "Watching their lives fall apart makes me feel better about my life," Excuse isn't going to fly with me. You want to feel better about your life? Take a f*cking walk through Boston, and look at all the homeless people. Oh but that would involve you getting up and moving wouldn't it? And we don't want to do that now do we?

The crap they put on the air is mind-numbing, if not mind-draining in its stupidity. Here's how they come up with their shows:
  • They say they're making a show about brides getting ready for their weddings.
  • They find ones who have a tendency to freak out when something goes wrong.
  • They tell them they've been selected.
  • They put a camera crew out there. Throw in a few bucks so it's a good deal.
  • THEY MAKE SHIT GO WRONG.
  • Then they sit back and tape the fireworks.
  • A little editing and post-production, they have a show.
I'm sorry, but if you're going to watch these shows, you should have to pay money, and give it to some sort of charity. Maybe a school or something so people will be smart enough to not watch these shows some day.

Now, to take a breather, I am not hating on all Reality TV. Some shows actually do good and help people. Extreme Home Makeover (even though I've heard it's a ripoff) they still give families a nice home. Pimp My Ride, they give some kid a really nice car, that they'll probably end up selling, so they'll at least get some cash. And some shows like Man vs. Wild, I wouldn't even classify as Reality TV in the sense I've previously defined, as it offers something that all these other shows do not. Knowledge. Which is goning to serve you better than that warm feeling you get after you watch Brian finally propose to Sue, because you know in your heart of hearts, that by the time that episode aired, they've already broken up, and she's in talks working on the deal to be the next Bachelorette.

So do yourself a favor. Next time you sit down to watch another pregnant 16 year old from a white trash family whose Dad was an abusive alcoholic and left the family, which resulted in the psychological problems that caused her to have unprotected sex at 16, hit the "Guide" button on your remote, and see if you can't find something with some sort of social relevance, or at least something that isn't as petty enough as to profit off of a 16 year old's bad decisions. If everybody just says No, maybe we can put a stop-gap in the fall of our society into chair-ridden fat asses.

For worst case, and most probable scenario at this point, watch Idiocracy.
For a better case, and still pretty probable scenario, see WALL-E. PEACE. I'M OUT.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Thoughts: Clothes

Alright now before I go anywhere the following post doesn't give you "23 New Fashion Tips!" or "100 Ways to Please Your Man," (sorry ladies) but merely contains my thoughts when it comes to clothing.

So. As I was getting ready for my big night out tonight, (sitting in my friends' den watching the Sox game,) I had an epiphany. Well, more like I remembered why I love my jeans so goddamn much. I've got three pairs of Vans Jeans. They are the same exact jeans, except that I have them numbered 1, 2, and 3. I can tell which is which by the wear and tear and a little help from the tags. Pair one has some cuts on the front from a little spill I took one night at school (no, not my birthday.) Pair two has a red dot on the tag, and the bottoms of the legs aren't nearly as worn out as the other two (they're my dress pair.) Finally Pair three has a little flip on the tag, and doesn't have the cuts on the front.

"Jim, I don't give a flying f*ck about your jeans."

Ok, fair enough, but the point is that I do. These 3 pairs of jeans, used in a rotation, got me through my winter at school. I love these jeans. Being Summer, and Summer being hot (except for this June, where it rained 28 out of 30 days...which I'm still pissed about) I do not get to wear my jeans nearly as much as I like. So getting the opportunity tonight, as it was overcast and 60's going into the evening, I jumped at the chance. Changing out my work jeans for my Vans jeans (pair one) was like changing out a wool sweater for a silk shirt. I kid you not. Throwing these jeans on was like popping on my P.J.'s. You gotta love your clothes because as the saying goes, "Clothes make the man."

In my mind, all clothes should be like this. I realize that with girls, there's some sort of fashion aspect, but to me it's one of those things where if you're comfortable in your clothes, you shouldn't have to worry about all that high fashion crap. I'm not saying I want everyone to throw on sweatpants and sweatshirts and just walk around like slobs; but if you can find a nice comfy pair of jeans, and a cool broken in t-shirt, throw your high heels to the wind. There are times to dress up, and times to just chill. In my opinion, people all too often confuse the two. I'm looking at you girls. Especially you girls who wear heels and dresses to parties at dilapidated frat houses. You know who you are.

Dressing casual is vastly underrated. I'm gonna go talk to that girl who's wearing the jeans, sandals, and sweet Sox Tee, before I head over to talk to the girl who's all glammed up, and blinds me every time the light catches her earrings and/or dress. (Which is every 4 and a half seconds.) So next time you're getting ready to go out, skip your heels, grab your high-tops, and chill for a bit.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Kid's Life: As A Wizard

He'll be born. Being a muggle myself (thanks Mom and Dad...), my son will inherit his wizarding prowess from his magical mother. This kid is going to be a boss. He'll be raised well enough, and when he's young I'll be studying my ass off to learn about the magical world. Of course my wife'll be magical and being an adult, will be able to use magic at will to do stuff around the house. I kindof imagine it being somewhat similar to the scene in the Sword in the Stone, where all the dishes clean themselves. A mix between that and Matilda. Sweet.

Knowing that he's to be a wizard he'll be brought up knowing that he'll be attending school. Having moved to The United Kingdom (as they obviously have the best school system) he will be shipped off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as this is as close to a public school of witchcraft and wizardry that there is. He'll get a bitchin' wand from Ollivanders, which of course is going to be really BA. Probably one made of Alder...maybe Dragon heartstring core. We'll see. After a quick stop at the Leaky Cauldron for some grub, we'll buy him some robes, get him an owl, and buy him some books at Flourish and Blotts. Pretty normal stuff.

Then after wishing this kid a good semester at Hogwarts from Platform 9 3/4 (he'll come back over winter holidays) he'll be off into the wizarding world. He'll excel at wizarding, cause let's face it; this kid is going to be the man. Need I even say what house he'll be in? (Hint: Rhymes with Schmyffindor.) Everyone knows how good Hermione Granger was back in the day. Well my kid's gonna be just as good (but might not use the Time-Turner). Snape can make a spell? My kids gonna make two. And they're gonna be awesome ones. And guess what. QUIDDITCH BABY. He's gonna be a wiz (no pun intended) when it comes to brooms. Now I'm not gonna say that he'll make the team during his first year, but boy, after puberty hits, he'll be an ace Chaser. He'll be scoring left and right, and soon enough people are gonna be like "Who needs a Snitch!" and then after he passes his O.W.L.S. and his N.E.W.T.S. he'll dabble in pro Quidditch, maybe win the World Cup for the Americans, depends on if the timing is right.

After that he'll travel the world. Doing wizarding things, finding wizard stuff, just establishing his name you know? People'll eventually start being like, "Oh hey have you heard of all the good work that _____ has been doing?" or "I hear some guy named _____ has been cleaning up those dark wizards!" or "Boy that _____ sure has made some intriguing discoveries about wizarding history." Seriously this kid is gonna be hounded by the Daily Prophet, because he's going to be the next big thing since Harry Potter. Yeah. I said it. From there my kid is gonna settle down, maybe be an Auror or some other sweet wizarding job. He'll be rather humble, even though at this point he'll have acquired quite the mountain of treasure from all his prior adventures. He'll settle down, and from there the Redding line will become one of those famous lines, similar to the Black and Peverell families.

Sure enough, somewhere down the line Dark Sorcerers shall try and tip the balance between good and evil, and I have no doubt in my mind that my lineage will be there to halt their sordid trespass into the light. Till next time, Nox!

P.S. I thoroughly apologize for any alienation that could have occurred during this post. Please tune in next time for something more macho and manly.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

My Thoughts: Private School

Alright, so for those outside of the loop, I went to public elementary school, then for 5th and 6th grades I went to a Charter school, and for 7th and 8th I went to another private school in town, all before returning to the local public high school, and then attending the lovely University of Massachusetts. Now that that's out of the way, let me say this. Private schools are dumb.

I don't know who decided that rich parents should put rich kids into a different school with other rich kids, but that guy should be shot. The entire premise of private schools is that they are some sort of nurturing environment for these children to learn, and to come to their full potential. B.S. Seriously. Having experienced both systems, I can honestly say that there's no big difference scholastically. I could have easily learned the three or four things I remember from 7th and 8th grade at a public school. So now that we can say that the education is the same, some people would still argue that this small nurturing environment protects their kids from the social deviants one might run into at a public school.

This is one subject that I'm very heated about. The idea that going to this small private school will somehow nurture and protect their child from the outside troubles of the world is ridiculous and frankly naive. Every single person that I know who went to private school either had an older sibling or was friends with someone who had an older sibling, and when rich kids get older, they have more access to more stuff, like alcohol, and when the younger kid sees the older kid drinking, they get into it earlier than their sibling did. And boarding school? I'll hit that in a bit because that is a WHOLE different can of worms. So when these parents are sending their kids to private school to protect their children, they're actually screwing their kids over.

See, in public schools, yes, as the grade ladder is climbed by kids, drinking eventually becomes a factor. Some kids do, some kids don't. Some kids friends try it, and then go hang out with a different crowd, other kids decide not to try it and go find other friends to hang out with. It's a big deal at some point. But by sending your kid to your small nurturing school, where you can almost count the number of kids in your grade on your fingers, these kids are trapped. The following ensues:
  • Bobby sees their older sibling, Charlie drinking a beer!
  • Bobby trys it, or sneaks one, or is given one by Charlie.
  • Of course Bobby now thinks drinking is mature, and the coolest thing to do.
  • Bobby gets his close friend Frank to drink too!
  • Bobby and Frank now spread this "cool drinking" fad around the grade.
  • Eventually little Sammy is hanging out with Bobby, Frank and the other 5 guys that consist of the grades male population.
  • They offer him a beer.
And then Sammy either has to choose social exile or drinking. What would you choose? Private school kids are rather unkind. If Sammy had attended public school, he could had chosen to go hang out with some other cool kids who don't drink. I mean, this scenario eventually happens to everyone, but normally it happens a little later. All I'm saying is, private school causes kids to choose between conforming, or being social outcasts. And often times shoots would be good kids down a nice path of drugs and alcohol nice and early in life.

Boarding school. Boarding school takes this scenario and kicks it up a notch. By removing the parents from the equation, Bobby up there is gonna be boozing it up after lights out whenever he wants cause Tom, from the grade above, sold him a bottle of cheap watered down vodka. I'm sure parents thought to themselves, "Oh yeah. Sending Sammy off to boarding school will be great for him. Knowing I'm not there to help guide his moral compass at an important time in his life is gonna be great for him!" Seriously. That and "I know I can't get Sammy to do his homework now, when I'm around, but I'm sure if he's off at school living with a bunch of other kids, who probably don't do their homework either, they'll live together and I'm sure they'll do all their work before they go off to play!" College is fine though, because after high school, any moral compass guiding you attempt to do with your son and/or daughter will be met with laughter or awkward faces and yelling to "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!"

Sending your kid to private school and then telling them their special and get preferential treatment like you do growing up going to public school just teaches your kid to believe that he's better than those kids over at John Woods High School. Some kids get out of private schools relatively unscathed, and have been tempered by the fires of private society. They lead productive, happy lives, and are not snobbish high brow pricks. They are in the minority. So just do your kids a favor folks, instead of sending them off to Oceanside Academy for Prestigious Students, drive 'em down to your local public school 5 days a week, and let them navigate the wilds of public school. You raised 'em right, they'll be fine. And if you see 'em taking a sharp left instead of a right, just give 'em a swift kick in the right direction. Till next time.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My Thoughts: Wikipedia

Anyone who knows me knows I love Wikipedia. To me it's like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but real. (And yeah, I know there's H2G2, but I like Wikipedia better.) Anywho, whenever someone new discovers I use Wikipedia, and I love it, they have one of two reactions for the most part.
  1. They completely agree, and think Wikipedia is the shit.
  2. They completely disagree, and think Wikipedia is bull shit.
I think Wikipedia is the shit. However I sympathize with those who disagree. The trick is with Wikipedia, you have to take everything with a grain of salt. You can't go on Wikipedia, and expect everything written on it to be stone cold fact. That is dumb. But I for one, would rather go on Wikipedia, look up a topic I know nothing about, and then be able to know something about it. Then later, if I'm talking to someone about it and I say something I learned, and they know for a fact it is wrong, they can call me on it, and I'll willingly, nay, eagerly let them correct me. Wikipedia just gives me a good head start, but it doesn't fill in all the gaps along the way.

When it comes to papers however, even some people who love Wikipedia will turn their back on their old friend. I laugh at these people. Teachers have told us since we were old enough to look up computer sources; we need to cite our work. They also told us Wikipedia was not a viable source, and we can't cite it. Naturally most people hear this and don't bother looking at Wikipedia. That's their mistake. Wikipedia articles, when it comes to scientific fact, or most facts in general, have citations and links to credible websites following the articles themselves. By going on Wikipedia and looking up their topic, students can gain an overall understanding of their topic, and then can venture into other websites knowing what they need to look for. I know when I had an extra credit paper due last semester on Osteoporosis I needed to have 3 citations from PubMed, a scientific article database. First thing I did was go look up Osteoporosis on Wikipedia. While reading the article, I opened the citations in new tabs (Firefox of course,) and after I was done reading I looked at what the citations linked to. Interestingly enough, they linked to PubMed articles! I then looked through those articles, found the information I needed, and finished the paper in no time. It was that simple. And it's not cheating. If anyone would like to argue that using facts from a certainly credible scientific article is not valid due to being linked there from another website, please, do so. Just because it was linked from Wikipedia doesn't make it any less credible.

So please, next time your friend is yelling at you and saying you can never take anything you read on Wikipedia as fact, and nod and pat them on the back, but tell them that they're still wrong, because the scientific article they took the information from had more credentials than their dad.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

One Paragraph of Game Review, and a few more of Hilarious Late-Night Adventuring

So, a week or two ago, I borrowed Mass Effect from my friend Beckett, and let me tell you, it opens a world of possibilities. While the trailers make it look like you can choose to destroy worlds, and ignore plight on a galactic scale, it is not quite as free as that. However in this game, for every action there is an equal and awesome reaction. So when I go up to somebody in the game's central hub, and they offer me a task to do, I can graciously accept, do the job, and be on my way. However I can also extort them and get bank and end up doing next to nothing. I often prefer the former, but when the situation calls for the latter, I prefer to let my assault rifle do the talking. I have saved whole races from extinction, and left a soldier to die. And it was BOSS. I would highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys really fleshing out their own world in their own way, and making the galaxy as they see fit. And just do yourself a favor and play a few worlds in, because I was not sold until I had really delved deep into the story and saved a race of aliens from a cruel death. Oh, and the fact that all my decisions will carry weight and change the world in the upcoming sequel Mass Effect 2, is effing AWESOME. So definitely rent it, borrow it, or even just buy it for 20 or 30 bucks used at the local game store.

MOVING ON.... So yesterday, after a long day of playing the game mentioned prior, I was alerted to head over to my friend Andy's house, already occupied by John and himself. Upon arrival, it was time to enter the arena. The only arena that three 19 year old boys, who are bored to death in the middle of the summer know.... Monopoly. Yes, picking up my trusty game piece (the thimble, as the hat had failed me the night before) we began this game of strategy and wits. It was a vicious battle back and forth, with John and my efforts keenly focused on denying Andy the orange spaces, and Andy focused on accumulating the weapons of our destruction. Eventually in a daring trade I swapped the third and final orange to Andy for my third and final Red. The corner around Free Parking was soon to be a death trap. All the meanwhile John had been silently accumulating the Greens. The game soon escalated in to multiple hundreds of dollars being thrown from player to player, with Andy eventually going out first, after circling the drain for a couple rounds. Then after landing on my Hotel on Illinois Avenue twice, John was down for the count and my Thimble now stood victorious. I am sure a third round will be soon to come.

It was at this point however that we discovered we were starving. Looking up from the game board for the first time, and away from the television, we soon discovered that it was also about 11 o'clock on a Wednesday night. That left us 1 option. Wendy's. A late night favorite among our group, it was quickly determined that this was our only and best course of action. So, hopping in my gasoline powered chariot, Andy, John and I were off to feast. Rendezvousing with our boy, Brian, we met up and all piled in to my car, because we had to hop in the drive through. We ordered $21.69 of food. Mostly off the dollar menu. Fast food is the best. Well... Best for late night eats. So then I did part two of this eloquent little fast food dance, and I pulled up to the window. Actually I pulled up 2 feet away from the window. Completely bush league. Completely Rook status. It was 11 on a Wednesday and I couldn't successfully pull up to a drive through window. People inside, and behind me, looked at me and in their eyes I could see their cold looks of judgment. Due to our outlandish amount of food that we had ordered we were asked to just pull up and our food would be brought to us eventually. 10 minutes, some fat jokes, some hilarious contemplation on the inability to get to the drive through window, and some Jim Gaffigan quotes later, we were all on edge. And that's when these two blonde girls drove by in the back of a truck. Being four guys at a fast food joint late at night, we threw inhibition to the wind, and started crawling out our windows to wave and yell "HI!" at the top of our lungs. They drove off, us never to know who they were, and as we were all sitting and enjoying the moment, John just threw in a little. "They were waving at me." He might as well have slapped everyone else in the face. "No way. They were waving at me!" then "That's BULL! They were staring at me before they started waving!" An argument broke out then, and my car was nearly the next octagon. Fists were about to fly when Brian shouted " WOAH WOAH WOAH!! Guys! Woah! I think at least we can all agree on one thing." We paused, waiting for his logic. "They weren't waving at me." We all burst out laughing, and then surrounded by a glow of late night delight, a random guy walked out with our two bags of food, and they were about to EXPLODE with greasy goodness.

All in all, we got back to Andy's, ate our food, and drank some soda before the night came to a close. T'was a good night, and I thought I'd share about my mundane adventures. Wendy's forgot my small fry, but was delicious none the less.