A while back, I wrote a blog post and in the aftermath of it I received a request. This is that request.
Jacob Paul, lovingly called Kril by his friends, graduated the University of Massachusetts Amherst in the year 2012, shortly before the supposed "end of the world," with Magna Cum Laude honors, majoring in Political Science, and minoring in Education. The summer after his senior year in college was an eventful one, with numerous parties and trips with graduated friends. However, his habits of drinking and smoking entered into a downward spiral and when all his friends moved on to jobs, or returned to school, Kril was left to find solace in drugs. After almost a year of living in and out of homeless shelters, with no material possessions besides that of his trusty guitar, and the occasional bottle of alcohol, Kril cleaned himself up with the help and guidance of his friend, Jim Redding.
Seizing this new lease on life, Kril traveled to Canada, where he had spent some time during his year in filth, and tried out for Calgary Junior Hockey C League, where he was signed to a one year contract for the McKnight Mustangs, but this was only the beginning off his rise. Following a stellar season, filled with numerous apple and ginos, Kril was passed up from team to team, eventually coming to the pinnacle of the CHL, leading the Calgary Hitmen to one of their franchise best seasons, before getting picked up by the Boston Bruins. Kril lead the B's to 3 consecutive victories for the Stanley Cup over former teammates on the Canadiens, the team rival the Flyers, and the dominating prowess of the Penguins. Tragically in his fourth season, he received a career ending injury in the form of a skate to his right leg, cutting numerous muscles, and breaking his tibia, and fibula.
A shining star on the rise, Kril was left with money from contracts which would sustain him until he found a new line of work. Eventually moving down to Charlottesville, Virginia, seeking answers of what to do with his life in a place which gave a start to his long time idol, Dave Matthews. After finding a small apartment, and settling in, Kril began playing open mic night at a bar called Miller's. Months later, an aged and wisened Matthews, visiting the bar where he bartended in his youth, stumbled upon Kril and his musical abilities. Meeting his idol, a lifetime dream, would have satiated the now mature Kril, but when Matthews decided to jam with Kril, he thought it could get no better. He thought wrong.
Kril was subsequently invited to Matthew's personal studio, where he not only played on tracks for Matthews latest solo album, but was also aided by Matthews' guiding hand, and ear, in producing his first solo album. This album hit the top of the charts and stayed there for almost three months, putting Kril in the spotlight and attracting to him, his long time love interest, Miley Cyrus. They met in the studio, Cyrus being pulled in by Matthews to duet with Kril on one of the songs for his new album. They hit it off, and after a long period of courting, they became engaged in 2025, marrying shortly after.
Kril had finally made it. His idol, Dave Matthews; his long time crush, Miley Cyrus; And boatloads of cash from his years as an NHL and Musical superstar. He settled down with Miley and together they had three children, named after three of the most inspirational, and important people in Kril's life. Kril, Miley, and their children James, Megan, and David now live in L.A. where they attend private schools.
Showing posts with label Alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcohol. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Boss of the Week: Dr. Tuck
So the other day in my Greek Mythology class, we were talking about Dionysus, drinking, alcohol, and how in the ancient world it was seen as some sort of divine force, and allowed one to transform into someone else. It was interesting, but then my teacher busted out this story:
Back in the 80's, he was out on a date with some girl (who in retrospect wasn't all that hot) and due to the fact he didn't have a car, he ended up being out on the date with this girl and his three friends. He talked about how they loved tequila, got drunk then went to Burger King, (some of you may know it as the B.K. Lounge,) and were standing in line when these three HUGE guys walked in. Not only were they ripped but they also were wearing Gold's Gym wife beaters to prove it. He then told us about his friend Guido, a small guy, with a big personality. Standing at the back of the line, our teacher and this girl were right in front of the three amigos, so Guido goes up to him and whispers loudly enough so that everyone can hear, "Hey, Tony, don't steroids make your nuts shrink?" Immediately our teacher tried to brush it off as he looked around nervously, but it was too late; One of the big boys had overheard.
He looked down at Guido, "Excuse me? What did you just say?"
Guido coyly responded, "I was just wondering if Steroids made your nuts shrink."
With a look of sheer anger, the Big guy asked if Guido would like to take this outside.
Guido obviously said yes, but then to take things further he said, "Tony, back me up."
Now with this on him, he looked at Guido, and then to the girl who obviously said, "Well, what're you going to do?" with that look that said you better get your ass out there. Begrudgingly he went out to the parking lot.
Shortly after, as he was laying on the sidewalk bleeding and bruised, he saw the girl get into the car with the three muscleheads and drive off.
Moral of the story: My Greek Mythology teacher is a Boss. As if being a walking encyclopedia on Greek Mythology, and sharing my views of making fun of those Jesus Lovers who walk around and hand out pamphlets all around campus wasn't enough, he's got hilarious stories like this one. I've probably learned the most in his class so far this year. Plus, it's one of those things where I actually like going to class. And so to you, Dr. Tuck, I award my first Boss of the Week award. Here's to you.
Back in the 80's, he was out on a date with some girl (who in retrospect wasn't all that hot) and due to the fact he didn't have a car, he ended up being out on the date with this girl and his three friends. He talked about how they loved tequila, got drunk then went to Burger King, (some of you may know it as the B.K. Lounge,) and were standing in line when these three HUGE guys walked in. Not only were they ripped but they also were wearing Gold's Gym wife beaters to prove it. He then told us about his friend Guido, a small guy, with a big personality. Standing at the back of the line, our teacher and this girl were right in front of the three amigos, so Guido goes up to him and whispers loudly enough so that everyone can hear, "Hey, Tony, don't steroids make your nuts shrink?" Immediately our teacher tried to brush it off as he looked around nervously, but it was too late; One of the big boys had overheard.
He looked down at Guido, "Excuse me? What did you just say?"
Guido coyly responded, "I was just wondering if Steroids made your nuts shrink."
With a look of sheer anger, the Big guy asked if Guido would like to take this outside.
Guido obviously said yes, but then to take things further he said, "Tony, back me up."
Now with this on him, he looked at Guido, and then to the girl who obviously said, "Well, what're you going to do?" with that look that said you better get your ass out there. Begrudgingly he went out to the parking lot.
Shortly after, as he was laying on the sidewalk bleeding and bruised, he saw the girl get into the car with the three muscleheads and drive off.
Moral of the story: My Greek Mythology teacher is a Boss. As if being a walking encyclopedia on Greek Mythology, and sharing my views of making fun of those Jesus Lovers who walk around and hand out pamphlets all around campus wasn't enough, he's got hilarious stories like this one. I've probably learned the most in his class so far this year. Plus, it's one of those things where I actually like going to class. And so to you, Dr. Tuck, I award my first Boss of the Week award. Here's to you.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
My Thoughts: Alcohol
First things first, I will not be talking about alcohol and myself, or anything related to that. Perhaps I'll cover that someday down the road.
Moving on, what I want to talk about is the Drinking Age. You hear it everywhere. "21 means 21." Well over in most parts of Europe "21 means you've been drinking for a while now." I personally believe that the drinking age should be lowered to 18. Or if I'm really hoping on hopes, lower.
Reason 1: You can vote, why can't you drink? Would somebody be able to guide me through the logic that an 18 Year Old has enough sense, reason, and maturity to be able to vote for the President of the United States along with other elected officials, as well as serve in the Armed Services, but isn't smart or reasonable enough to handle and willingly imbibe alcohol? I would have to say that's kind of messed up, wouldn't you?
Reason 2: College. Most people either went to college, visited a friend at college, heard about college from a friend, or just sat down and watched Animal House. The point being that everyone, and I mean everyone, knows what goes down at colleges in terms of parties and the like. Kids go off to college, and they become immersed in this subculture of a drinking hierarchy. Everyone goes to school during the week, then Friday night comes along, and everyone goes out to party. (Okay, not everybody, but enough that I make a valid point.) I know at UMass there's some crap statistic floating around on different posters around Campus saying "3 out of 4 UMass Students know how to have fun without Alcohol. Do you?" First of all; Yeah I do. Second, I also know that all four of those students probably know how to have fun with Alcohol too. Plus, that they get this statistics from mandatory classes that have to be taken after students get busted for Alcohol tends to make these statistics invalid or at the very least heavily skewed.
Back to my point though, Parents send their kids off to College knowing that they're going to be all around drinking, and that they're not going to be there to watch over their shoulder. So it's best to let them just drop into this new setting, not knowing how to drink, and let those Frat Boys show them how to do a keg stand, right? Were the drinking age to be dropped to 18, most students tend to turn 18 their senior year of High School, when they still live under their parents Sauron-like gaze, which would allow parents to set a good example. That couple of months should be long enough for parents to give their kids some idea of how to drink responsibly. And if you don't think so, what's wrong with you that you can't sit down for maybe 1 night and tell your kid that drinking too much alcohol is bad for them? All I'm saying is that kids are going to school and most likely will be drinking before the age of 21. If you'd like them to learn how to drink from Frat Boys and other excess drinkers and party goers, keep 21 21. But I think it'd be a lot more reasonable to have kids learn how to drink under their parents than under Brother Buster at Beta Tau Omega.
Reason 3: Not every kid is as dumb as you give them credit for. Lots of people tend to have a big argument about lowering the age as 18 year olds simply aren't smart enough to handle this huge responsibility. Well maybe if you treated it more like a responsibility and less like a privilege, less people would take it for granted. I'll put it like this. Hypothetically, if the age were lowered, maybe even lower than 18, and younger kids were taught that alcohol wasn't to be abused, but used in moderation, and were allowed to experience this in little steps as they got older, they wouldn't just have this idea of alcohol as the forbidden fruit that the American School and Police system make it out to be. I remember back in the day sitting in my 5th grade classroom with the D.A.R.E. officer coming in to tell us all about how drugs and alcohol are bad. He was basically like, "Well Alcohol is horrible and you should never use it ever, but when adults drink it, because we're old and mature and can handle it, it allows us to relax, and have a better time hanging out with friends." Or at least that's what I remember. Given that description, kids would be dumb to not try it to prove how mature they were. If you were to ease kids into it instead of making it out as this Golden Apple, I am positive that it would definitely lose most of the allure that young kids see in it nowadays. It's only a big deal because some jackhole decided to make it a big deal. If you treat your kid like he or she is adult enough to handle it, they'll do everything they can to prove to you that they are in my opinion.
I could go on, but I know that some people have their minds all made up, and will disagree with what I said, as I am set in my way about this. So if anyone cares to write back and explain how flawed I am in my thinking, I would thoroughly enjoy getting into a heated debate about it, but otherwise I've said my thoughts. Jim out.
Moving on, what I want to talk about is the Drinking Age. You hear it everywhere. "21 means 21." Well over in most parts of Europe "21 means you've been drinking for a while now." I personally believe that the drinking age should be lowered to 18. Or if I'm really hoping on hopes, lower.
Reason 1: You can vote, why can't you drink? Would somebody be able to guide me through the logic that an 18 Year Old has enough sense, reason, and maturity to be able to vote for the President of the United States along with other elected officials, as well as serve in the Armed Services, but isn't smart or reasonable enough to handle and willingly imbibe alcohol? I would have to say that's kind of messed up, wouldn't you?
Reason 2: College. Most people either went to college, visited a friend at college, heard about college from a friend, or just sat down and watched Animal House. The point being that everyone, and I mean everyone, knows what goes down at colleges in terms of parties and the like. Kids go off to college, and they become immersed in this subculture of a drinking hierarchy. Everyone goes to school during the week, then Friday night comes along, and everyone goes out to party. (Okay, not everybody, but enough that I make a valid point.) I know at UMass there's some crap statistic floating around on different posters around Campus saying "3 out of 4 UMass Students know how to have fun without Alcohol. Do you?" First of all; Yeah I do. Second, I also know that all four of those students probably know how to have fun with Alcohol too. Plus, that they get this statistics from mandatory classes that have to be taken after students get busted for Alcohol tends to make these statistics invalid or at the very least heavily skewed.
Back to my point though, Parents send their kids off to College knowing that they're going to be all around drinking, and that they're not going to be there to watch over their shoulder. So it's best to let them just drop into this new setting, not knowing how to drink, and let those Frat Boys show them how to do a keg stand, right? Were the drinking age to be dropped to 18, most students tend to turn 18 their senior year of High School, when they still live under their parents Sauron-like gaze, which would allow parents to set a good example. That couple of months should be long enough for parents to give their kids some idea of how to drink responsibly. And if you don't think so, what's wrong with you that you can't sit down for maybe 1 night and tell your kid that drinking too much alcohol is bad for them? All I'm saying is that kids are going to school and most likely will be drinking before the age of 21. If you'd like them to learn how to drink from Frat Boys and other excess drinkers and party goers, keep 21 21. But I think it'd be a lot more reasonable to have kids learn how to drink under their parents than under Brother Buster at Beta Tau Omega.
Reason 3: Not every kid is as dumb as you give them credit for. Lots of people tend to have a big argument about lowering the age as 18 year olds simply aren't smart enough to handle this huge responsibility. Well maybe if you treated it more like a responsibility and less like a privilege, less people would take it for granted. I'll put it like this. Hypothetically, if the age were lowered, maybe even lower than 18, and younger kids were taught that alcohol wasn't to be abused, but used in moderation, and were allowed to experience this in little steps as they got older, they wouldn't just have this idea of alcohol as the forbidden fruit that the American School and Police system make it out to be. I remember back in the day sitting in my 5th grade classroom with the D.A.R.E. officer coming in to tell us all about how drugs and alcohol are bad. He was basically like, "Well Alcohol is horrible and you should never use it ever, but when adults drink it, because we're old and mature and can handle it, it allows us to relax, and have a better time hanging out with friends." Or at least that's what I remember. Given that description, kids would be dumb to not try it to prove how mature they were. If you were to ease kids into it instead of making it out as this Golden Apple, I am positive that it would definitely lose most of the allure that young kids see in it nowadays. It's only a big deal because some jackhole decided to make it a big deal. If you treat your kid like he or she is adult enough to handle it, they'll do everything they can to prove to you that they are in my opinion.
I could go on, but I know that some people have their minds all made up, and will disagree with what I said, as I am set in my way about this. So if anyone cares to write back and explain how flawed I am in my thinking, I would thoroughly enjoy getting into a heated debate about it, but otherwise I've said my thoughts. Jim out.
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